crumble.

You see it coming while you're blind. It develops within you slowly like a disease, swearing it could never happen. And pity for the ones who it's done to. Could it be with the first sign? No, that push is too simple to blame. You're fine when you're forced to notice your state, sitting there, waiting for the moment. Oh, here it comes. "You're a fucking piece of shit!" Tears fall but they don't matter -if anything they fuel. The insecurities are building,  but so are his muscles, big, strong, and forceful. His face, cold and fierce with eyes that never lose focus,the rage growing with every exhale, pacing quickly in my direction. I freeze. My body tenses with no chance to move. I've learned that lesson.

My breath is held and I feel every inch quiver and tighten. My arms race to block when I see what's coming.

With my eyes shut tight, I feel pressure meet my chest, with all its force and rage behind it. I fall, instantly feeling the only boundary to his force, the wall. My back meets it first, and my head follows. Before I comprehend the contorted position I'm in I am already being flipped again. "Please!" It's not enough. "You dumb fucking cunt; You were going to leave me. There must be someone else." He spits on me before his palm lowers to grab hold of my hair, the reaction of my hands grab his wrist and I scream.

I cringe to the way my back is scraped, as I'm dragged to a bigger working station. My hand is free but I know I'm not. 

As I stumble to even get to my knees, a left foot meets my ribcage. There I am, coughing curled up in a ball on the floor.

He continues to scream, but I only catch every other "bitch" and "fuck." I quickly try to stand as my head on the floor sees those shoes walking closer, I made it up. Congratulations. My right hand grips my ribs, while the left sweeps across my swollen eyes,

smearing mascara and tears. Now, I can see, I can see him right in from of me, staring down with disgust.

I gulp hard and find the courage to say "I'm done with this." He stares at me as a grin crosses his clenched mouth,

"I could have you right back to where you were; You need me." I'm unsure if the force is worse than the manipulation.

But there I am flying, this time there isn't a wall, but a coffee table to break my fall.

Laying on the ground, there is nothing to think or say

when I feel his fingers wrap my neck. His grip tightens, my head becomes heavy as I feel the oxygen hit my tongue, but stop there.

My eyes feel as though they are bulging, and the seconds go by as my grip loosens around his arms,

I'm released. Coughing and gasping for air, my hands struggle to find my neck. I'm surprised it's still there.

I hear his foot steps disappear down the hall and he shuts the door.

My marks smolder at the edges, the colors of something dead lying motionless on the floor.

Emptiness comes across me. As I struggle to stand up, my knees crumble to the pressure of the apologies.